This hopelessness that drowns all that I believe

[neverlosemyfocus]

“What? No!” Siri’s voice was ragged, shock and disbelief at the verdict painfully open in her words. They’d found her guilty. No matter her protestations, no matter Obi-Wan’s protestations, Ahsoka’s, Anakin’s... they’d found her guilty. Said that the evidence spoke of her guilt. She was the culprit, there could be no other. As though she could EVER do such a thing to the Temple.

But they thought she had it in her. That she had Fallen, that she had Fallen so far as to attempt to destroy the one place she could call home. The one place she could belong.

Force, she couldn’t breathe for the ache in her chest. Her heart. Despair and desolation in equal measure overwhelmed her, and she gazed numbly at the ground, any more passionate words in her own defence dying in her throat. There was no point. They’d found her guilty. Guilty of treason, sedition against the Republic, murder... conspiracy to commit murder, escape from custody...

And the sentence was death.

She offered no resistance as she was roughly herded away by the guards, heedless of the injuries she’d suffered. She was stunned, her faith in the Order shaken, fractured.

Defeated.

They would claim, no doubt, that she put up resistance and they had to use force to subdue her when it came time for them to place the binders that would cut her off from the Force until her execution on her, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. No matter how much her instincts screamed at her to fight, to escape and prove her innocence... she couldn’t.

The Order had failed her. And that wound cut far deeper than any physical injury she could ever suffer.

The guards tossed her carelessly into her cell, and she could barely do more than clumsily try and take the fall as the hypo injection took hold, sending her spiralling into unconsciousness.

Comments

[neverlosemyfocus]

She didn’t answer; she barely noticed him knocking, or calling her name. She stayed curled up in the sanistream, shivering and struggling against the onslaught of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. Or maybe they already had. She closed her eyes and exhaled raggedly.

[master_kenobi]

He wasn't sure what to do. Clearly walking in on her in the sanistream was....rude. At best. But she wasn't answering. He banged on the door harder.

"Could you... say something?"

[neverlosemyfocus]

His pounding on the door registered distantly, and she blinked up into the sanistream, blue eyes dull. It took more energy than she had, but she managed to say something as requested. “I’m fine.”

It was as far from the truth as a Jedi could get… but she wasn’t one, at the moment, was she. Her breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes as the ache of their betrayal overwhelmed her.

She was no longer a Jedi. Not in the eyes of the Order.

[master_kenobi]

He could feel her despair; she was far from 'fine'. There was a pause, and then a wry "...Could you say something that's true?" was called through the door.

[neverlosemyfocus]

His words startled an exhausted laugh out of her, and she tilted her head back against the wall of the sanistream. “… no. I don’t think I can.”

[master_kenobi]

He was at a bit of a loss.

"...Perhaps you could...put some clothes on and come lie to me out here."

[neverlosemyfocus]

“I’d rather stay here and not lie to you at all.” But she pushed wet blonde hair off her face and unsteadily rose to her feet, shivering from the coldness of the water. Shutting off the sanistream, she fumbled for a towel to dry herself off before slipping into the clothing he’d provided.

Once she was dressed, she opened the door to the ‘fresher, pale, exhausted and cold.

[master_kenobi]

"...That's your choice, as well, of course..." His voice trailed off, and he was surprised when the door did open as he lingered outside of it, feeling somewhat useless.

"I have been telling you for years the danger and inherent untrustworthiness of politics. Politics demanded this of the Order and the Order bent to it. It can be fixed," he told her, his tone gentle but confident.

[neverlosemyfocus]

“You were right, Obi-Wan.” A brief almost-smile flickered across her face, because admitting he was right was something she tried to avoid if at all possible, but it was brief and faded rapidly. His words didn’t surprise her, nor his vast ability to find hope in a situation such as this. He was so confident in his belief that what had happened could be fixed. She brushed cold fingertips against his hand. “I don’t know if it can.”

[master_kenobi]

"It can. We must believe it can, because if true justice doesn't exist, than our lives have been wasted in the defence of something that wasn't real."

[neverlosemyfocus]

“I don’t know if I can.” The admission was soft. Pained. The wound was still raw. Still bleeding. “I was barred from the Order, Obi-Wan. They stripped me of my knighthood. I’m not a Jedi anymore.” She leaned wearily against the doorjamb. “Even if we manage to prove my innocence, discover the identity of who framed me, who was truly behind the attack on the Temple... What’s done is done.”

[master_kenobi]

"It can be undone," Obi-Wan told her earnestly. "We will undo it."

[neverlosemyfocus]

“Anything beyond proving my innocence and finding the culprit behind the bombing will unfortunately be the will of the Council.” And she couldn’t seem to find the faith necessary to believe that they would undo what they’d done to her.

[master_kenobi]

"And they cannot stand for justice and not change their verdict once your innocence is proven. You'll see. And if I'm wrong, then I will leave with you."

Because he couldn't stand for that.

[neverlosemyfocus]

She looked at him, stunned. Was he so certain that they would change their verdict that he would risk saying such a thing? He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. Force, Obi-Wan. “You would leave the Order for this?” For her?

For star’s sake, he’d already broken her out of kriffing PRISON, making himself a fugitive in the process. She didn’t know why this was so much more... shocking. But it was.

[master_kenobi]

"If what we've been told it stands for is all a lie? I certainly will," Obi-Wan said firmly.

[neverlosemyfocus]

Siri reached out with an unsteady hand and cupped his cheek, her skin cold against his. She opened her mouth, and words failed her. What could she say to that? He was... the best Jedi she knew. And a better man.

[master_kenobi]

"We must all do what we feel is right," he reminded her. "We do not have time to feel sorry for ourselves. We must press forward."

[neverlosemyfocus]

Her stomach turned at the thought of what he had risked for this. For her. The Order was as much a part of who he was, his LIFE, as it was her. And he risked all of that, everything he knew... for her. She nodded, her fingers curling away from his cheek as she pulled away from him, withdrawing in on herself just a little.

“I take it you had a plan when you broke me out of prison?” she asked softly, voice a little bit hoarse.

[master_kenobi]

"I did. And it went swimmingly." She might recognize his dry attempt at humour to lighten the situation a little. He nodded towards the cabin. "I have something for you to look at, actually. I'd like your opinion."

[neverlosemyfocus]

She did, and it earned him a faint, crooked smile. “Whatever you need.” Maybe focusing on what they were doing would help. At the very least they could discover who was truly behind the attack... before anything else happened.

[master_kenobi]

"I took this from the archive," Obi-Wan told her, pulling out a datapad. "Footage from Temple security. Take a look and tell me if anything seems out of place to you," he said, handing it to her and watching her thoughtfully.