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fragmentsofthegalaxyIt was agony.
So much had changed since her death; her almost death. Going to the Land of Make Believe, to Univille, the Warehouse, had changed everything. Had changed them most of all. They had exchanged vows, she’d taken his NAME, wore his ring as he wore hers... lived together as husband and wife, with every intention of spending the rest of their lives together.
And now they were back. Returned to their galaxy at the moment they were removed, memories intact. Force bonds intact. To an Order that still found attachments dangerous. WRONG.
Too much had changed; she could not conceive of setting aside her feelings for him, giving him up. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. And, much to her relief... he felt the same way. So they... pretended. Hid what they felt in the Force, behaved as they had before their journey to another world. It hurt, FORCE, how it hurt, keeping her distance from him. She’d grown far too accustomed to his presence at her side. In her bed. Doing silly little things like curling up together on a porch bench enjoying a beautiful summer morning.
She’d never known longing quite like this.
They stole moments, when they could. With the ability to hide their presence, their emotions, in the Force, it made matters just a little bit easier. But FINDING moments to steal, in the Temple, with the war, their missions, was difficult. They were separated far too often. For far too long.
But they were Jedi, and they did what they must. They knew what was coming, now; maybe they could change it. Keep Anakin from Falling to the Dark Side. From becoming Vader. Keep Sidious from becoming Emperor. Whatever happened, she would be at Obi-Wan’s side this time. He wouldn’t go through it alone.
Duty didn’t make it any less painfully lonely, lying in bed in her quarters at the Temple, without him by her side. He was her husband... and she had to continually pretend that he was nothing more than a friend. And an often frustrating one at that; which he was, of course. Marriage hadn’t changed that. He could still frustrate her more than anyone in the galaxy. But he was so much more to her, as well.
And no one could ever know.
Which was why her next mission was a welcome one. A two Jedi team was being sent to a planet to investigate reports of a Separatist plot to take over the shipyards there. It was a deep space mission, and she was one of the Jedi assigned to investigate. The other... was Obi-Wan.
It was a long flight. They would be alone.
With no need to hide.
So much had changed since her death; her almost death. Going to the Land of Make Believe, to Univille, the Warehouse, had changed everything. Had changed them most of all. They had exchanged vows, she’d taken his NAME, wore his ring as he wore hers... lived together as husband and wife, with every intention of spending the rest of their lives together.
And now they were back. Returned to their galaxy at the moment they were removed, memories intact. Force bonds intact. To an Order that still found attachments dangerous. WRONG.
Too much had changed; she could not conceive of setting aside her feelings for him, giving him up. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. And, much to her relief... he felt the same way. So they... pretended. Hid what they felt in the Force, behaved as they had before their journey to another world. It hurt, FORCE, how it hurt, keeping her distance from him. She’d grown far too accustomed to his presence at her side. In her bed. Doing silly little things like curling up together on a porch bench enjoying a beautiful summer morning.
She’d never known longing quite like this.
They stole moments, when they could. With the ability to hide their presence, their emotions, in the Force, it made matters just a little bit easier. But FINDING moments to steal, in the Temple, with the war, their missions, was difficult. They were separated far too often. For far too long.
But they were Jedi, and they did what they must. They knew what was coming, now; maybe they could change it. Keep Anakin from Falling to the Dark Side. From becoming Vader. Keep Sidious from becoming Emperor. Whatever happened, she would be at Obi-Wan’s side this time. He wouldn’t go through it alone.
Duty didn’t make it any less painfully lonely, lying in bed in her quarters at the Temple, without him by her side. He was her husband... and she had to continually pretend that he was nothing more than a friend. And an often frustrating one at that; which he was, of course. Marriage hadn’t changed that. He could still frustrate her more than anyone in the galaxy. But he was so much more to her, as well.
And no one could ever know.
Which was why her next mission was a welcome one. A two Jedi team was being sent to a planet to investigate reports of a Separatist plot to take over the shipyards there. It was a deep space mission, and she was one of the Jedi assigned to investigate. The other... was Obi-Wan.
It was a long flight. They would be alone.
With no need to hide.
no subject
Date: 2015-07-20 03:19 am (UTC)He wasn't sure how much longer he could live this lie. He held her tightly, tilting his head back as her lips touched his throat. He would have to choose soon. He knew that. But there was so much work to do...
Did he have the strength to see it through?
no subject
Date: 2015-07-27 12:19 am (UTC)She hated this lie they were living. Hating keeping him at arm’s length. Hated pretending. Hated not being able to fall asleep in his arms, to kiss him whenever the desire struck her. They were doing this for a reason, had chosen this because they needed to be able to see things through, to prevent what they knew of the future from happening.
But she didn’t know if she had the strength to see it through.
Pulling back, she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, pouring everything she felt for him into that one simple gesture.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-12 09:05 pm (UTC)This mission will bring us close to ending this. Soon we'll have to choose whether we leave.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-18 09:26 am (UTC)But after... what then? Did they stay? Continue to hide their relationship? Their marriage? Could they continue maintaining this façade forever? The Order would not change their stance on attachments. Not without a fight. And not EVER was more likely. Could they spend the rest of their lives apart? Stealing what precious moments together they could out of the Council’s view?
We will. She deepened the kiss, slowly, lingering. It had been too long since she’d been able to do this. To touch him. But right now I want to enjoy what moments I can with my husband.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-23 01:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-24 07:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-11-15 01:05 am (UTC)